


Alternia of the East

by appending_fic



Category: Higashi no Eden | Eden of the East, Homestuck
Genre: Action/Adventure, Multi, Mystery, Mystery Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-09-13
Updated: 2011-09-17
Packaged: 2017-10-23 17:12:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appending_fic/pseuds/appending_fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, I started posting this on LJ, up until I kept failing at getting Rose's text the right color (hmtlfail), so I jumped over here, where X15lm204 has created a homestuck skin for fics. So this goes out to you, as well as all of you homestuck fans. As I'll still be posting links to this on lj, anyone who cares to provide suggestions for commands can do so over there or in the comments here, I guess.</p></blockquote>





	1. Be the Boy

  
==> Be the boy  


Your name ESCAPES YOU AT THE MOMENT. You aren't certain how OLD YOU ARE, your interests AREN'T CLEAR, and you have NO IDEA WHERE YOU ARE.

==> Look around.

You appear to be in a WIDE OPEN SPACE, filled with a number of PEOPLE. Even though it is DAYTIME, you see a few TROLLS wandering among the crowds. You are not certain how you know what TROLLS are, or, for that matter, what PEOPLE are, when you DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN NAME.

The space is a large, grassy rectangle stretched over SEVERAL CITY BLOCKS. At one end, you see a VERY TALL TOWER, and at the other, you see a DOMED BUILDING. There is a CAROUSEL nearby.

The people around you appear to be giving you a wide berth, placing you in the CENTER OF AN OPEN CIRCLE.

  
==> Quickly retrieve arms from safe.  


Luckily, your arms appear to be ATTACHED TO YOUR TORSO. In one of your hands is a small device that is making an insistent ringing sound.

  
==> Answer phone.  


\--SHOW SELEÇÃOLOG--

No. XV began communicating with No. XX  
XV: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU EGBERT YOU BETTER NOT BE DEAD.  
XX: ...  
XV: OH GOG, YOU'RE DEAD AND FUCKING LALONDE IS GOING TO TRY TO EXPLAIN HOW MY RAGE IS DUE TO UNEXPLORED SEXUAL TENSION AND I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CRUSH HER WINDTUBE JUST TO SHUT HER UP.  
XX: um, do i know you?  
XV: THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR WRIGGLER HEAD GAMES, EGBERT. WE HAVE AN ACTUAL CLUSTERFUCK HERE. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?  
XX: i guess i don't know. there's a big white tower, and a white building with a dome on it. and a carousel! seems to be a pretty popular place.  
XV: I SWEAR TO GOG, EGBERT, IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS HORSESHIT IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS, I AM GOING TO FIND YOU AND SHOVE YOUR BULGE SO FAR UP YOUR NOOK YOU CAN'T BREATHE RIGHT.  
XX: ...  
XV: AND JUST TO BE CLEAR, THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU, IN YOUR CONTINUING DEMONSTRATION OF CULTURAL INSENSITIVITY, CALL 'HATELUST'. THIS IS INTENSE FRUSTRATION IN THE FACE OF YOUR MONUMENTAL STUPIDITY.  
XX: good?  
XV: FUCK, I CANNOT HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW.

No. XV has ceased communicating with No. XX

  
==> Put phone in pocket.

You cannot put your phone in your pocket, as you are not wearing any pants!

  
==> Put phone in purse.  


You are certain you are not carrying a purse, and never have.

  
==> Ask passerby for purse.  


This seems to be a monumentally bad idea. Nevertheless, you try gesturing at a passerby with your free hand. She refuses to meet your eyes and hurries away.

This is beginning to get quite frustrating. You think you might need to ask someone for help.

Examining your phone, you find that in addition to a normal keypad, it has twenty other buttons, labeled 0, I, II, III, IV, V, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, and XX.

You doubt you will receive much help from XV.

==> Put on some fucking clothes.

You would, but you don't have any clothes with you!

==> Steal a pair of pants.

You don't think you're supposed to steal from people, but you do muster up all the PULCHRITUDE you can manage and call out to a harried, middle-aged woman carrying a large plastic bag.

"Um, excuse me? Ma'am? Can you help me?"

She pauses, looking around before her eyes settle on your chest; she seems both unwilling to meet your eyes and unable to look LOWER THAN YOUR CHEST. The crowd, still giving you a wide berth, moves on around you.

"Thanks. I was wondering if I could borrow a pair of pants or something?" you ask uncertainly. "I hit my head or something, and I'm not quite sure what happened. And I just want to see my Dad again-"

You pause as your CHEST is struck by a SHARP ACHE. A TEAR unaccountably leaks down your face.

The woman, who looks ready to move past you with a bad excuse, pauses, and then digs into her shopping bag.

"Oh, don't worry, dear," she says. "My boy's about your size, and I know how these things go. Hazing, and whatnot."

You nod along, hoping that this will stop her from asking any question you don't know the answer to. You gratefully take the JEANS and GHOSTBUSTERS T-SHIRT the woman lends you. As you do so, a rising siren starts in the distance. The woman gives you a sly look.

"It was only a matter of time before someone called the cops," she said. "You might want to scarper. Run away," she clarifies. "I'm sure your Dad won't want to be bothered by something like a little college prank."

You nod, even though the thought of your FATHER makes you want to START CRYING AGAIN.

==> Abscond!

You duck away from the crowd; luckily, most of the people seem content to ignore you once you have pants on. Just to be safe, you hurry a few blocks away from the wide lawn, ducking into an alley. You check your phone again, in the hopes that someone has sent you a HELPFUL MESSAGE.

The phone has NO MESSAGES, but an odd thought occurs to you. When XV pestered you, your messages had "XX" in front of them. So what would happen if you pushed the "XX" button?

==> Dial 'XX' in the hope it will cause a rip in spacetime.

No. XX made a request of Nannasprite

Nannasprite: I've been looking forward to hearing from you again, No. XX!   
XX: um, do you have any idea who i am?   
Nannasprite: Hoo hoo! What a scamp! Of course I do! I even know why you ended up in the middle of the Mall without any pants on.   
XX: really? why?   
Nannasprite: Hoo hoo!   
Nannasprite: That would ruin the fun!   
XX: while i'm all for totally awesome pranks and all, i'm a little confused by all of this. some girl named XV was talking to me earlier, and i think she has a crush on me!   
Nannasprite: Hoo hoo!   
XX: um, i'd really appreciate it if you'd stop the cackling and help me out. i'm already a little freaked out, to tell the truth.   
Nannasprite: Oh, of course. Noblesse oblige. I hope you continue to entertain me as one of the world's saviors.   
XX: what?

Nannasprite has completed XX's request!

hideout.jpg

Nannasprite appears to have left you a map, with a building about 10 blocks away starred and noted ‘Home’.

There seem to be a number of more sirens, close by now.

And if that isn’t enough, your phone is beeping at you.

==>


	2. Try to Look Normal

==> Answer phone while trying to look totally normal and not suspect or bothered by sirens

You would have to be some sort of awesome COOLKID to pull off a move like that! Nevertheless, you try to answer the phone in as suave and nonchalant a manner as you can manage.

==> Fumble phone

No! Although you make a valiant effort to drop the phone, you instead make a SWEET CATCH, which earns you a thumbs-up from a cute skater guy who’s passing at the time.

No. I started communicating with No. XX

I: Given the rumors that the efficacy of our ragtag group of misfits has been reduced by a significant percentage, I hoped to discover that you were engaged in some ill-advised prank. Is this the case? I cannot promise I would not spill the beans, as it were, but it might relieve some tension to get this off your chest.   
XX: um...i guess it’s not a prank, whatever you’re talking about. are you lalonde? do you know xv? she seemed pretty upset the last time we talked   
I: …   
I: For the sake of reducing the amount of tomfoolery I am to be expected to mediate, may I ask if you called xv a girl previously?   
XX: well, only to nannasprite. is that a problem?   
I: I suppose not.   
XX: so are you going to help me out?   
I: As much as I would like to be of assistance, I was made to understand it would be ill-advised to provide anything approaching a helpful response at this juncture. I am truly sorry.   
XX: oh, okay then. did you want anything in particular from me? cause i don’t think i’ll be much help, either, haha  
I: Duly noted.  
XX: i know you said you wouldn’t be helpful, but does  
XX: noblesse oblige mean anything to you?  
XX: sorry. i hit the send key too soon  
I: ‘Noblesse oblige’, or ‘nobility obliges’, is said to mean that the nobility must act nobly, or that one must act in in a fashion that conforms to one’s position, and the reputation (and power) that one has earned. Those who have power are supposed to use it for the betterment of the world; it was the principle which was supposed to guide the wealthy throughout much of history. Unsurprisingly, it has proven an inadequate measure to ensure that those with power or wealth turn their influence to noble ends.  
XX: ...wow. i thought you weren’t supposed to be helpful  
I: In all fairness, I did produce that answer from thirty seconds on Wikipedia. In fact, I would be willing to offer my services as a general research source. There are many points of freely-available information you may, as a newly-minted amnesiac, find are not available to you, which I would be willing to provide.  
XX: for a price?  
I: Not in the manner you’re suggesting, no. Despite my unwillingness to assist you in certain specific ways, I do believe it is in my best interests to provide some form of general assistance.  
XX: you sound so sinister when you say that. how can i trust you’re not some sort of russian spy?  
I: How do you know what a Russian spy is?  
XX: they’re the bad guys who always try to stop james bond. are you sure you aren’t some sort of seductress set up to trick me into revealing all my secrets?  
I: My lord.  
XX: …  
XX: you aren’t, are you?  
I: I’m sorry. The thought of anyone going through the trouble of seducing you for the sake of what secrets your mind conceals sent my mind adrift for a moment. I promise you I have not entered into this conversation with any intentions on your virtue or your encyclopedic knowledge of American cinema, which, unsurprisingly, has survived the removal of all useful knowledge from your memory.  
XX: is that a good thing?  
I: It was to be expected. Now, if you don’t mind, I will take my leave, as I do have responsibilities besides coddling amnesiac movie geeks. Do feel free to leave me a message if you have any questions, and I will promise to be as helpful as I am capable.  
XX: ok. good luck!

No. I has ceased communicating with No. XX

You suspect that No. I was enjoying being unhelpful, although you CANNOT PROVE IT.

You glance around furtively, in case the FUZZ has decided to INVESTIGATE YOU, but luckily, the coast is clear. Your check your phone again, and the starred location of “home” BECKONS TO YOU.

==> Investigate!

“Home” turns out to be a basement apartment on a side street. The door is UNLOCKED, which is a good thing, as you do not know where you would be keeping your KEYS.

Inside is...something out of a real spy thriller, although you’re thinking it’s less James Bond and more Jason Bourne. There are a dozen PASSPORTS from six countries on the kitchen counter, aerial PHOTOGRAPHS of imposing buildings scattered across the table, and (this is the most worrying part) a full ARSENAL in the CLOSET.

You start to seriously wonder who you really are, and, for that matter, who XV and Lalonde are.

==>Get some answers!

No. XX made a request of Nannasprite

XX: i know you like a good laugh, but i really need to know what i’ve gotten myself into.   
Nannasprite: Hoo Hoo!   
XX: stop it. there are guns in here. i could get in a lot of trouble if someone found all this stuff! what am i doing with them anyway? i hate guns!   
Nannasprite: Do you?   
XX: see? that’s the sort of thing that’s worrying me. anyway, i’m pretty sure i’d know if i liked guns   
Nannasprite: I’m only joshing with you, boy. I wouldn’t worry overmuch about it; the surveillance photos and fake passports are going to get you in at least as much trouble.   
XX: …   
Nannasprite: The reason I mention it is that what the authorities might think of your stockpile is going to be relevant very shortly.   
XX: huh?

There is a violent KNOCKING at the door.

“Open up! Police!”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I started posting this on LJ, up until I kept failing at getting Rose's text the right color (hmtlfail), so I jumped over here, where X15lm204 has created a homestuck skin for fics. So this goes out to you, as well as all of you homestuck fans. As I'll still be posting links to this on lj, anyone who cares to provide suggestions for commands can do so over there or in the comments here, I guess.


End file.
